Hello from somewhere between Minneapolis, San Francisco and madness

Tom and I are on our way to San Francisco for our first weekend alone since we had Alice 3-1/2 years ago. It's about time, right?  I can't wait to sleep in my own queen bed!   Just kidding - sort of:).  When I'm sleepting at home, I usually end up contorted in some pretty crazy positions trying to accommodate the dog, cat and Alice on my side of the bed. The absurdity of it always makes me smile. Here's how the night usually goes: I go to bed before Tom at around 10:30-ish. He slides onto his side of the bed soon after. The cat usually curls up on my back or stomach while the dog curls up on the rug beside the bed. Sometime between midnight and 1am, the dog gives a soft bark at the foot of the bed which translates to, "Move the quilt so I can lay at the end of the bed."  I'm not sure why she decided she didn't want to sleep on the quilt, but somewhere along the line I figured out she wanted to be on the sheets. So, now I'm curled on my side with my feet of the dog and a purring cat on my side. Then along comes Alice sometime between 4am and 7am, "Can I sleep with you Mommy?"  Why not?  Everyone else in the house is. So, I pull her onto the bed, spoon her and kiss her soft hair. The cat is purring on my back and my feet are snuggled into Dubbie's fur. It's a 360-degree hug! 

So where's Tom in all of this? He's smartly established that his side of the bed is off-limits to kids and creatures. And crazily enough, everyone honors that. Well, except for the cat, but it's written in the Cat Code of Conduct that it needs to lay where ever it likes, especially when someone is allergic to it. 

The Passing of a Mom in our Carondelet Community

We said goodbye to Faye Ryden this week after a courageous battle with ovarian cancer. She's the mom of one of Lark's classmates and left behind three daughters and a husband. Faye was one of the first people I met when I came to the Carondelet community as "Lark's dad's girlfriend".  I wanted to get to know some of the moms, so I signed up to be a Brownie Troop leader for the first grade troop. Faye and I were one of 5 moms who led the troop for several years. She was an easy-breezy person who was a joy to be with.

Tom and I went to the funeral this past weekend (Lark was at a friend's cabin) and it was lovely and intense all at the same time. My heart broke a few times over watching John, Faye's husband, and girls. What a surreal experience for them. And the funeral is just the beginning of  it. They had a reception at the Bakken afterward. It was great to see many of Lark's classmates there along with their families to support and mourn with the Ryden's.

John and girls,  we have you in our hearts and prayers. 

Nicole Ryden, Lark's classmate, releasing butterflies with the help of friends
at her mom's memorial service. 

The Cape

We did our annual pilgrimage to Cape Cod in the beginning of July to spend a week with the Pinney Cogan families. We started the trip with a couple days in Boston that included lots of sweating (it was humid and in the mid-90's), a trip to the public garden the see Mrs. Mallard and take a ride on the swan boats and dinner in the North End. We read the book "Make Way For Duckings" for a few weeks leading up to the trip.  (If you don't know the book, click here for more info.)  Alice was on high alert looking for her when we got to the park. When she figured out Mrs. Mallard and her ducklings were statues, she was a little disappointed that she "wasn't real."  But when she figured out that she was swimming in the duck pond with her babies, she was much happier and seemed to be okay with the fact that Mrs. Mallard only speaks Duck, not English.

This collage  of us meeting Mrs. Mallard and her ducklings and Alice watching Phish
 live on Tom's phone is courtesy of Lark.  

After our fun in Boston, we headed to Cape Cod to spend a week with the Pinney Cogan's. As always, it was one of the highlights of our year. We don't do much except sit on the beach in most types of weather, with the exception being pouring rain, and talk about what we're going to eat next. It's pretty darn nice. We're lucky that Frank and Alice, Tom's parents, are still going strong. We're also lucky that all of Cogan kids, Albert (age 16), Grace (age 19) and Shannon (age 22) still want to hang out with us for a week. I guess the same holds true for Anne and John, Tom's sister and brother in-law, and Joyce, Tom's sister. I suppose they could opt out, too. I'm sure they don't dare because the trip gives them an opportunity to load up on funny things I unwittingly say and do that come back to haunt me all year. Mostly it's just John. He's a funny guy. Just ask him...he'll tell you (he's actually hilarious and I will stop writing so the "mother f'er champagne" incident doesn't come back to bite me in the tush.)

In addition to eating, drinking and hanging out, this year we worked on doing some cool braids. Check 'em out. I've since cut my hair, so no more braids for me. 

Lark in the upper left, Shannon in the upper right and me on the bottom. 

The "Can't Take it with You" Tour

Tom and I invoke this saying whenever we make, or are thinking of making, a big expenditure. We've been taking a look at our life and what we want the next 10 or so years to look like. One thing I know I want to do is live somewhere other than Minnesota for awhile. It can be domestic or abroad. We've been noodling on how to make that work. In an ideal world, we'd like to have a lot of time to explore (probably rules out a full-time job) and have access to good schools for Lark and Alice. I also want to be able to take Dublin with us.  We'd like to rent out our house while we're gone.

One idea that came to me when we were at one of the Phish concerts this weekend (Oh, we're now on the plane back to MN and we went to see Phish in San Fran) was the idea of being long term house/pet sitters. That takes care of our living costs and gives us literally a home base to explore a city. We're thinking Northern California or the Pacific Northwest. We'd love to do Europe, but I've read it's difficult to get a dog in the country - maybe I'm wrong?  I could keep doing some consulting stuff on the side and Tom could just run his newly acquired business, which I think I'll have him ghost write about another time.  

Back to the Can't Take it with You Tour - let us know if you have thoughts, ideas or know someone who needs their house watched. We'd also be a live in family nanny to an only child. We'd need our own living quarters and would need to have a family who wants their child to be folded into ours. It's probably someone who never really wanted kids but had one because it seemed like the thing to do.  We'd be happy to take that little one under our wings and spend ample time swimming in the indoor pool or at the private beach. And yes, we cook organic meals, read, love outdoor adventures and limit screen time. We're your perfect Fam-nanny! 

Let me know if you've got any leads for us or other ideas. The crazier the better. 

Almost Forgot...Heath Update

Can you believe it's been 6-months since I had the mastectomy?  It seems much longer. I'm doing and feeling great.  The second and last stage of reconstruction is scheduled for August 19th. I originally had it scheduled mid-July and then thought better of possibly ruining part of summer. This surgery entails removing the tissue expanders that are currently there (they look and feel like a couple of apples on my chest) and replacing the with (hopefully) softer and more pleasing looking implants. Recovery is supposed to be pretty easy compared to my primal surgery. No drains this time and no hospital stay. Woo hoo!  And yet I'm sort of dreading another surgery and the downtime associated with it. 

Other than that, I'm just taking my Tamoxifen which gives me lovely hot flashes along with so either side effects I don't need to go into here. It's not quite as bad as when I started it - maybe I'm getting used to it?Anyhow, the alternative is much worse than some pesky little side effects. 

Some Pictures

Lark's soon-to-be-new glasses.  She's excited about them.

Look who we ran into at the San Francisco Ferry Building farmer's market.  Mike Gordon, bass guitarist for Phish!  You can see excitement written all over his face.  

A rare photo of us at the San Francisco Ferry Building.  

I made it through two Phish concerts this weekend.  My first show was last year at Alpine Valley, WI.  I have to say that I enjoy the outdoor venues a wee bit more.  It was so darn smokey that I felt like I was developing a case of rapid onset emphysema.  And yes, those puffs of smoke in the picture probably are exactly what you're thinking they are.   

Bathtub Alice.

My garden in the beginning of summer (top) and now (bottom).

More garden pictures.